I’ve sat on this one for a couple of weeks.  March is Developmental Disabilities Month and I came across a quote from Robert Hensel which reads “There is no greater disability in society than the inability to see a person as more.”

Many of you know my son Hank’s story.  Many of you have lived it with us.  Michelle and I recently sat in our living room chatting with Will about how much his Brother has overcome and just how much of a miracle he is.  As I write today I wanted to first give you a peek into that conversation and the high points.  We talked about Hank’s initial diagnosis and the first time we saw the CT scan that showed that the right side of his brain didn’t develop properly.  We talked about the Doctor that had an extremely cold bedside manner when gong over those results and how we were devastated looking at our 10 month old in his stroller as we heard the news.  We then talked about the nurse in the MRI room that was also a parent of a child with Cerebral Palsy and convinced us Hank was going to be “just fine”.  Simply put, she provided hope.  We then recounted all the seizures.  Those scary seizures that robbed Hank of the ability to speak for long periods of time.  Those seizures that weren’t controlled by medicine.  Those seizures that eventually led to the difficult decision to have surgery to remove almost half of Hank’s brain to save his life.  Then we talked about how blessed we are to have Hank in our life.  And, just much his resilience has taught us and how thankful we are that we get to have clear eyes when seeing those around us because of the journey we’ve had with Hank. 

What I left out of that conversation is how much I’ve learned from Will and his refusal to ever treat Hank differently and his unwavering commitment to be a typical big brother regardless of the situation.  He never lets Hank take the easy way out and there’s a mutual respect between them because of it.  It’s challenging, but refreshing at times to see that they have a typical relationship as Brothers.   They fight, they have words with each other, but in the end they have each other’s back.  Will never sees Hank for his disability.  In many ways, Will provides an example and perspective that is helpful to follow. 

I would like to tell you all that I’ve never doubted what Hank can do, but that would not be fully rooted in truth.  In the early days I let my own worries creep in and effect how I saw Hank and what he would accomplish.  But, he soon taught me that what I chose to see was not reality.  I began to see much more in those days of constraint therapy, the countless days of OT and PT, and the weeks of inpatient therapy post-surgery.  There isn’t now and there never was a question of whether he could do something.  It was how he would figure out a way to do it.  Seeing this from a parent’s perspective was and is such a blessing!

Perhaps all that was a little long winded, but I needed it to set the tone for what I wanted to share today.  You see that quote above is phenomenal.  That quote above carries so much wisdom.  Of course, as a parent of a young man with a developmental disability I love it.  But, I love it just on face value and have a continued hope that this world will have clear eyes to see each and every wonderful soul on this earth as more regardless of the ability we try to label them with. 

For the most part, Hank’s story is a great one.  I truly believe he’s been held and supported throughout his life.  And, those that matter never, ever saw Hank as less.  Like us, they just stand by and anticipate the “more”.  They anticipate the next great thing he will do.  They believe he has the “ability” to be everything his peers are and that he is not limited by conventional thinking.  He is not limited by anyone who would doubt him. 

So I’m going to close with the question in the title.  “What do you see?”  What is it you see when you see a person with a developmental disability.  Do you look at them with clear eyes?  Do you see them as more?   I surely hope if nothing else Hank’s continued testament and the testament of many that we love in the developmental disability community helps you to see this “more” in everyone!  I surely do!